I wouldn’t necessarily call it a failure, but…

Okay, okay. I didn’t run on Tuesday. Slap on the wrist, I know. But I did run on Wednesday. I ran 1.37 miles, which made me want to poke my eyes out. It didn’t hurt. I wasn’t out of breath. I was simply embarrassed that I had to keep this run as close to a mile as possible. Remember that sweet li’l message from my OS? Too much too fast too soon = bad. According to him, 1.37 would classify as such seen as I haven’t touched a stupid elliptical or ran-walked yet. Building up suuuuuuucks in my world. I just can’t bring myself to do it. So one mile runs are my current limit.

The last couple weeks have been atrocious. My schedule is out of control, I can’t say No, and I have deadlines fast-approaching. <insert f-bomb here> To top it off, my gas-guzzlin’ mobile decided to have a wiring issue on Friday AM, thus I’m carless until Monday. This is not a problem in my world except for the fact that Sunday (today) I was supposed to run the Mercer Island 5k. After half-hearted attempts at procuring transport to said race failed, I decided it was probably in my best interest to just do my own run today. And I will, but only after I’m done with this last grad app,which is shaping up rather well. For now, they can consider my 20 bones a donation to their cause. I’ll sign up for another 5k soon enough.

________________

I yearn for April 1st. I want some semblance of my life back. I want to realign my priorities with my schedule. I want my moleskin to stop having “DO NOT MAKE PLANS – WRITE!” scrawled across all the pages. I want to be able to cross more things off, an indicator of a job well done, instead of moving the majority of my weekly to-do list onto the next week’s already full agenda. I want to have time to make phone calls and respond to emails. I want my memory to once again function, because having to send two packages to South Africa when I forget half the contents at home the first go-around is not ideal. I want, I want, I want.

I want to run and not feel like I’m taking time away from my future. Dear April, be here soon. Looooooooove, B.

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